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It is that time of year, people. Are you feeling stuck in an unpleasant moment? This is a common experience, but it’s important to realize that you don’t have to stay there. Don’t wander off into the fantasyland of the grass being greener on the other side, it may just be a mirage. You got three options: 1. remove yourself from it. 2. change whatever you can control right now, or 3. accept what cannot be changed with grace. You must go with one of those three options, or things are going to remain intolerable. Take action. 

Part I

I had been drinking most of the night, but I still thought driving home was good. Actually, at that stage, I had no idea if it was a good idea or not; I was in a total blackout. Little did I know that it would be my last drive for a long time. As I flew down the road, my car started to drift off course and hit the median curb. The impact sent me into an airborne spiral as if gravity had no control over me. The world around me seemed to move in slow motion as I flew across the entire median and crashed back onto solid ground with such force that all four tires were ripped apart from each other, shattering all windows. I felt myself being thrown around inside as if in a washing machine. Then came one final impact that broke a bone in my neck, and I found my forehead smashed against what remained of the windshield glass, leaving gas spilling out onto the pavement beneath me.

As soon as consciousness returned, I heard sirens blaring in the distance while trying desperately not to pass out again. Finally, I managed to crawl out from underneath the pile of torn metal and staggered toward the firefighters rushing toward me before collapsing one final time on the cold concrete below. I could feel my life slipping away from me.

I was told I had died inside the ambulance on the way to the hospital. I knew that already. I remember being held in a bubble of warmth without pain for a short time. There was a glow I was inside of, and I could feel no pain, no anxiety, and no problems. It felt amazing. I was given an option. Stay here and face the pain or go with him. I thought of my kids and decided to come back. In woosh, as you would see in a movie, I was pulled back into my body, and complete insanity ensued. Doctors were working on me. They had to hold me down. Strap me to the gurney. I blacked out again. 

When I woke up, I was still in a panic. A cop was sitting in the room staring at me, and I was handcuffed to the bed rail. As I lay in a hospital bed handcuffed to the bed rail, I felt like the sum of all my fears and doubts had come to meet me. I was overcome with a feeling that I didn’t even know who I was. The crash left me with a broken neck and an even more fragile ego… to be continued.

Please leave comments below so that I may respond to any questions.

I want to save you all some trouble. Maybe you are looking at this and thinking you don’t give a shit about what I am saying. If you are trying to get sober, you should. If this video is not for you, no big deal.

My goal is to help people. What could be the worst-case scenario? You get into AA and become prey for the AA predators, and they exist. Follow my rules for getting a sponsor to have success.

Just about a year ago, my wife looked at my arm and said she still could not figure out what my tattoos were. I Looked down at my arm and had to agree. Both of the larger tattoos were hard to make out. They were too large to get an accurate full view of what they were. One is an eagle, and the other is a bull skull with a feather. 

She saw this cool but brutal process called blackout.

Modern blackout tattoos are influenced by traditional Polynesian tattoos and graphic art.[1] Their designs also often incorporate aspects of neo-tribal tattoos.[2][3] The technique originated as an alternative method of covering up unwanted tattoos, instead of the more expensive tattoo removal.[4][5] However, blackout tattoos became increasingly popular as an aesthetic choice in South Asia during the 2010s,[6] a practice which largely derived from local tattooing techniques such as Bornean traditional tattooing.[7][8] They soon spread internationally as a fashion trend,[9][10][11] having been popularized by Singaporean tattoo artist Chester Lee whose designs went viral on Instagram.[12][13]

I loved the idea, so I went for it. Check out the video to see the whole process. 

At the end of the day I super happy with the result and glad that I waited and went with a pro who knew how to do a real blackout tattoo. Hoode is excellent. https://www.instagram.com/hoode215/